Waves

I prayed that you were just a nightmare.
Played over and over.
Week after week,
Month after month,
Year after year.

I thought everyone was scared of waves,
Of dark, pounding water,
To the point that they
Wanted to throw themselves off of a bridge
To get away.

Till worship turned sour,
And wave after wave of love
Whirled the nightmares just enough,
I caught a glimpse of the reality
They reflected.

The moonless beach,
The scraping shells,
The kicking and sputtering, burning lungs,
The stark terror of peering over the cliff,
Watching the bubbles swirl into oblivion.
The fear and the longing.
The let go and hold on.

Surely it can’t be,
Just delusional musings
Of the sleep-deprived neurotic.
Just another clip to add to the fragments.
And they sit, rotten, stagnant,
Poisoning life today.

Never will I be the same again,
Never will it be resolved.
A life littered with snapshots,
Revolting, unfathomable, inhuman,
With no where to land,
So they flit like flies in the blank spaces.
And I wait, ears buzzing,
Terrified of, longing for
The real story.