Sacred Waiting

I wait beside the phone.   I wait for four different medical specialists to call. I wait for more specific diagnosis, prognosis, and treatment plan. I wait for scans, MRI’s, blood tests, and assessments. I wait for the new prescription to come in. I wait for the current prescriptions to start helping, the side-affects to wear off, and the pain to subside. I wait for my heart rate to come up or go down, or my oxygen saturation to go up. I wait for my fever to go down. I wait. Do I wait in vain? I often wonder.

 

Draw nigh, Draw nigh, Emmanuel

And Ransom captive Israel

That mourns in lowly exile here

Until the Son of God appear…(J. M. Neale, 1851)

 

The people of Israel were always waiting, always hoping. Their hearts were longing, and they held to traditions to remind them of the Savior, the King, for which they were longing. They did not choose to distract, lest they forget their longing. Our church universal is in a similar situation to the people of Israel at the end of the Old Testament. They were in exile, waiting and hoping for the coming Messiah. They didn’t entirely understand how it would work, or how He would come, but they held to what they knew of Him and His work in the past, anticipating and hoping for His future coming. We live in the tension and the glory of the kingdom that is already present on earth through the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ and the deposit of the Holy Spirit, and the longing for the kingdom that is to come, where God rights all wrongs and wipes every tear away from every eye. In the Spirit of the Israelites, we sing in minor key, “Death’s dark shadows put to flight” in one of the most popular advent hymns in the Christian church, this verse coined in Hymns, Ancient and Modern, in 1861.

 

My tendency, and I believe that human tendency, is to try to distract from discomfort and agony when there appears to be no present solution to the problem. When our resources are sapped, and we can do nothing but wait for answers or solutions, we try to ignore the pain and longing. This response sometimes helps us to survive. Chronic illness sets the stage for a lifestyle of waiting. We wait for explanations for confusing symptoms. When diagnoses are provided, we wait for solutions, if there are solutions. If there are no solutions, we suffer through the bad days and wait for days with decreased pain. We long, we desperately long, to feel well enough to function. We wait for a miracle, or we choose to focus elsewhere.

 

Waiting for something limited to this earth—like healing or the right diagnosis for me, often feels frantic and frenzied, filled with fear and anxiety. Waiting on the Lord, the waiting of Advent, is a joyful, hopeful, expectant, pregnant, and holy longing that knows and trusts that its object will ultimately come to fruition. Maybe this is a time where we redirect our energies to this holy anticipation of the Savior, the Kingdom, and His inextinguishable light. Not one of these promises can be rivaled. They cannot be undermined.

 

So this waiting that is found in my illness…maybe it is a sacred space. Maybe it is a thin point in our mortal world of flesh and blood where we can see the Advent kind of waiting more clearly. As I wait for the uncertain, I am reminded of the undeniable promises for which I wait. This waiting hurts, and it rubs me raw. My raw soul longs for a salve that is not always provided in medical answers and physical healing. It longs for the gentle, loving touch of the Savior, the Redeemer, the One who will right all wrongs and ultimately heal all hurts. My raw soul longs for the coming kingdom, and in a world broken and oozing with longing, we sing the minor songs of Advent together: “Veni, Veni, Emmanuel.” We may or may not know what we are really truly waiting for, but we are all waiting. I pray that our waiting may not be in vain, but may be a shadow-glimpse of the true illumination of Advent-waiting.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Supercali-whatever.

I used to keep my mouth shut. This is what I say when I don't know what to say.

ordinarilyextraordinarymom

Because we all live a life that is perfectly imperfect

Drawing Closer to Christ

Trusting the Love of Jesus Christ, One Day at a Time - Psalm 13:5 NIV, “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.”

Ron Tamir Nehr

Find your Inner Voice and Attain the Freedom to Fully Express Yourself

Charisma

Inner Beauty - Outward

Message In Stanza

Poetry and Musings

mustardseedblogs.wordpress.com/

“With this news strengthen those who have tired hands, encourage those with weak knees,say to those with fearful hearts “be strong & do not fear” Isaiah 35:3

Tarbelite Confessions

Weaving a story to protect myself

The lovely dandelion

spreading a little joy into the world one seed at a time

insicknessandinfaith

He is faithful through the storm

cholley's musings

my thoughts and prayers about my journey with my Savior, Jesus

Pure Glory

The heavens are telling the glory of God; and the firmament proclaims His handiwork. Psalms 19:1

The Mind Connectory

The Mind Connectory is a place where thoughts are shared in the hope that many people can relate to similar situations. I anticipate that it can become a library of knowledge from which people can draw up plans to overcome challenging situations – whether they be brought on by loss or mental barriers. The mechanisms for coping with matters of the mind are quite connected regardless of their cause. That is why I believe that learning from other people’s experiences (both successful and unsuccessful) is the key to self improvement as well as a better future for ourselves and the people around us.

Sara Lauren Lewis

Cultivating Community and Celebrating Creativity

health & Lifestyle Blog | Abigail Louise

HEALTH, LIFESTLYE & CHRONIC ILLNESS BLOG BY Abigail Louise

This Grateful Mama

Encouraging women with the truth of Gods uncommon grace

Molly in Progress

sermons to myself

My Beautiful One

"The LORD of Hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge." ~Psalm 46:7

this grateful mama

practicing gratitude and finding joy

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close