The Best Laid Plans…

My life rarely goes as planned.

In fact, if there is one thing I can plan on, it’s being surprised by unexpected circumstances.

I expected this year to provide new space, alone time carved out by having two kids in elementary school. I was going to write a book, tons of songs, build my skills, and rest. I mean, I am physically suffering. I felt like I needed a break, some time to myself, and space to actually honor my malfunctioning body.

I didn’t plan on distance learning. I didn’t plan on teaching at home, serving as a round-the-clock mommy, and an 8 AM to 4 PM learning coach;

Not to mention a constant children’s therapist, helping two little ones regulate and process emotions surrounding my almost-death, the presence of a global pandemic, and civil unrest.

Also, we have no end date in sight. After having a heart-to-heart with my sweet doctor this week, two realities remain true: With a history of major lung issues, my long list of diagnoses, and suppressed immune system, it remains important that we minimize exposure to anyone outside of our household. In addition, with my anaphylaxis history with injections of vaccines, meds, foods, and life in general, the COVID vaccine poses an even greater threat. For me, sadly, the vaccine is not an option.

And so we wait….together.

The four of us process, we cry, we laugh until we cry, we scream, we learn new things, we grow, and this unplanned year of never-ending family time might actually end up being one of the richest, sweetest, most intimate seasons of our lives.

I don’t know what comes next. The world has never been “safe” for me, but here I am, still living in it. And the gift of this time to pour into my babes is unfolding into one of the most beautiful unplanned detours I’ve ever taken.

Yeah, we still have rivers of tears daily, but we get to cry together. I can hold them in their season of trauma. We can establish secure attachment, they get to know that we delight in them, and understand that our delight is but a mere shadow of God’s delight in them. We ache with them as at ages six and seven they have to grapple with realities that are devastating the most mature adults I know.

This time is Kairos time—God’s time—and He’s working beauty in it for all of us. And as we learn to lean our ears to His heart, we discover that it’s still beating for us, His beloved children.

May I never cling to my expectations so tightly that I cannot release them and lay hold of the treasure right in front of me. Yes, it is quite appropriate to be disappointed and grieve the loss of our dreams, but may that disappointment never rot my heart into a bitter place that is stuffed with too much resentment to receive the generous gifts of the God who formed my inmost being.

He’s still our Shepherd. We still shall not want. He still hems us in. He still prepares our table for us to feast as our enemy watches on. He still holds us closer than a mother holds her infant. He is still our dwelling place, and our hope remains in Him.

I may continue planning, but I hold those plans in open palms, with the understanding that I only see in part. I trust my weak vision to the One who fully sees and fully knows.

Categories Uncategorized

1 thought on “The Best Laid Plans…

  1. Thank you for the reminder that God is our constant!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Pastor Al Gilbert

Blogs, Sermons and More

Heaven's White Noise

Can you hear it?

Avalanche of Grace

Finding God's Grace along the Broken Road

Life is a Vapor

Encouraging Christians to Live a Life of Radical Love and Service

With Great Hope

Rejoice in your hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. - Romans 12:12

Motherhood, lifestyle, Travel


I used to keep my mouth shut. This is what I say when I don't know what to say.


Because we all live a life that is perfectly imperfect

Drawing Closer to Christ

Trusting the Love of Jesus Christ, One Day at a Time. Psalm 13:5 NIV, “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.”

Ron Tamir Nehr

Self Empowerment & Business Coaching


Inner Beauty - Outward

Message In Stanza

Poetry and Musings

Mustard Seed Blog

With this news, strengthen those who have weak knees. Say to those with fearful hearts, Be strong & do not fear, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies. He is coming to save you.” ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭35:3-4‬ ‭

Tarbelite Confessions

Weaving a story to protect myself

The lovely dandelion

spreading a little joy into the world one seed at a time


He is faithful through the storm

cholley's musings

my thoughts and prayers about my journey with my Savior, Jesus

Pure Glory

The heavens are telling the glory of God; and the firmament proclaims His handiwork. Psalms 19:1

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close