Awakened for Easter

Stepping into the Lenten Season nearly 40 days ago, I had no idea that I was in for the spiritual ride of my life. An awakening. Somehow this year, a new life has sprung forth into my liturgical calendar. I started Lent as I usually do, with a Facebook fast, making a bit more space for God in my fringe moments when both babies are napping, or nursing the littlest one, or preparing to drift off into my own much-coveted sleep. Somehow, this Facebook fast (partial fast) opened up doors for massive healing (disruption and excruciating pain). I look back on this season of Lent, and instead of seeing about 6 weeks, I feel like I am peering back at 16 long months. I guess that it started with increased reading (not really writing, which was the plan all along). I read fictions for fun, Spiritual development, The Book of Common Prayer, Memoirs, and Devotionals. I got acquainted with the practice of Examen, a Jesuit tradition, started by Saint Ignatius, which rocked my world. I took time out for a prayer retreat for women in our church, which turned out to be a trauma-stirring trigger-fest that was ironically exactly what I needed. I was challenged with my anorexia recovery, which is evidently not as strong as I blindly believed it to be. I gained a new wonderful Spiritual big sister, who is willing to walk beside me on my emotional and spiritual healing path. Finally, I broke off ties with my parents. Note: This last one is the most life-changing.
What in the world is God up to? This really all happens when you clear out a little space for him in your down time? He has been here all along, prodding, talking, comforting, opening up doors, but I have been walking along with blinders.
God, give me the discipline to continue to be open to your Spirit every day of my life. You are so heavily entwined in the mundane tasks of life. You have been here all along, and I have missed you. Help me not to miss you as I drive my children to play group, or lay in bed next to my husband, or push the double-stroller over the bumpy cement of the park, or sit in my dietician’s office, or participate in the Lord’s Supper tonight at our Maundy Thursday service at Church. Each moment drips with the richness of your Spirit. Please allow me the discipline to soak it up.
As we come to the table tonight to commemorate the Lord’s last supper with His disciples, I don’t want to simply go through the motions. I want to anticipate His presence because I know for a fact that He will be there, and He IS there, waiting for me. He is washing our feet, our KING stoops down to wash our feet. I want to really truly show up for Him.